Parenting preparation starts well before the child’s birth or even the pregnancy. Our life experiences prepare us for the work at hand. Parenting is heavily affected by one’s own childhood, adolescent, and adult experiences, as well as one’s views, expectations, and goals for parenting.
Naturally, the beliefs and expectations of others, such as family, as well as societal ideals, influence one’s parenting style.
In this article, we will look at how your childhood influences our parenting.
How does your childhood affect your parenting?
#1: Getting worked up
We are bound to be triggered by our children in times of frustration, no matter how good our intentions are. We are frequently agitated or provoked by current events that remind us of pain from our past, even if we are unaware of what is causing the distressing feelings. In these instances, we often feel transported back to the previous, terrible scenario.
When we have intense or seemingly exaggerated reactions to our children, it’s important to consider how our own experiences may have influenced the current situation.
On the other hand, instead of emulating our parents’ conduct, we may respond to a negative early environment by attempting to compensate for or rebel against our parents’ treatment of us. We may have good intentions when we try to do things differently, but we frequently overdo it.
We are still distorting our conduct depending on our background when we swing too far the opposite way. Rather than choosing the traits that are important to us, we are still responding to events that have occurred.
What can you do about it?
Keep a journal of your feelings — you may do this on a daily or weekly basis, depending on what works best for you.
Pay attention and identify where in your body you feel movement whenever an incident irritates you. Keep an eye on what ideas start to pop up in your mind. There is no need to modify your answer at first; just work on developing your awareness muscle.
You may observe that your kid participates in particular activities that are more likely to elicit certain emotional emotions. Make a note of these patterns and keep a journal of them. Being aware of your thoughts and emotions is an important first step in maturing with your kid and becoming the parent you want.
Even though what occurred to us as children shows up in our parenting, this does not imply we are condemned to replicate our parents’ faults. In fact, regardless of how much distress or even trauma we experienced as children, what matters most is how much we were able to feel the full extent of our pain and create a coherent narrative of our experience.
We are better able to connect to our own children and provide the nurturing they require if we process what happened to us. We can learn to recognize that our “gut” reactions are not always indicative of how we want to parent. We can begin to understand why our children irritate us in this way.