A while ago, I wanted to start a new family tradition with my children. Something simple that could encourage them to be kinder, more helpful and responsible, without feeling like another behaviour chart or another list of rules.
That’s how our Tree of Good Deeds started.
It began with just some bare branches on our wall. We cut colourful paper leaves together, and each colour represented something we wanted to encourage in our family, such as kindness, helping, responsibility, learning and perseverance.
Whenever one of the kids does something that fits one of these values, they can add the matching leaf to our tree.
Slowly, our empty branches have been filling with colourful leaves, and I honestly love looking at it now.
It’s such a simple thing, but every leaf represents something good that happened in our home.
Why I Made a Tree of Good Deeds?
I wanted my children to actually see their good deeds.
We tell our kids things like “be kind,” “help each other,” “be responsible” and “keep trying,” but especially for younger children, these can be quite big and abstract ideas.
The tree makes them more visual.
For example, putting your pencils back after using them might seem like a tiny thing to us, but it can be a little act of responsibility.
Helping your brother or sister can earn a helping or kindness leaf.
Trying again when something is difficult can be perseverance.
Over time, all these little things become colourful leaves on the wall.
And the kids can literally watch their good deeds grow.
I Deliberately Didn’t Put Their Names on the Leaves:
When I made the tree, I decided not to write the children’s names on their leaves.
I didn’t want it to turn into: “I have more leaves than you!”
Or one child feeling bad because their sibling had added more leaves to the tree.
The whole idea was to encourage them to work together, not compete with each other.
So there are no individual totals. A leaf doesn’t belong to Sarah, Deyaa or Lara.
It belongs to our family tree.
I think this has made a big difference because they’re all working towards the same thing: filling our tree with good deeds.
Even My Two-Year-Old Has Started Understanding It:
This is probably one of my favourite things about the tree.
Lara is only two, but she has already started understanding what the leaves mean.
One day she returned the pencils to their place and then asked me in her special lovely language which colour she should use.
I thought that was so sweet because she had already made the connection between doing something good and choosing the leaf that represented it.
Of course, at two years old she doesn’t understand words like “responsibility” in the same way an older child does. But she understands the action.
She put something back where it belongs, and she knows that means something on our tree.
Her older brother and sister also help her work out which colour leaf she needs.
I Don’t Have to Manage the Tree All the Time
This is another thing that has worked well for us.
My older children know what the colours mean now, so I don’t need to stand there and supervise every leaf.
They can decide that something they did belongs on the tree, work out which value it represents and choose the correct colour themselves.
They can also help Lara when she isn’t sure.
I actually prefer it this way because I don’t want the whole thing to depend on me noticing every good thing they do. I want them to notice too.
Something I Didn’t Expect
After we’d had the tree for a while, I noticed the kids starting to pay attention to the things they weren’t doing as much.
Because everything is there visually in different colours, it’s easier for them to notice that maybe they’ve been adding lots of one type of leaf but not many of another.
And sometimes that makes them want to do more of it.
I really like this part because instead of me constantly reminding them what they should be doing, they’re starting to notice some of these things themselves.
How We Made Our Good Deeds Tree:
There really isn’t anything complicated about making one.
I used brown paper for the branches and different coloured paper for the leaves. We cut the leaves together, which actually turned into a fun little activity by itself.
Then we chose what each colour would represent. Our tree includes values such as:
- Kindness
- Helping
- Responsibility
- Learning
- Perseverance
You could obviously choose whatever values are important in your own family.
I also didn’t want to damage the wall, so I used rental-friendly Blu Tack to attach everything.
That’s pretty much it. You don’t need a fancy printable or an expensive reward system. Paper, scissors and something safe to attach it to the wall are enough.
And No, We Don’t Do This Every Night
I want to mention this because I don’t want someone reading this post and thinking we have a lovely little family meeting around our tree every evening while my children calmly discuss their good deeds. 😂
We definitely don’t.
There are busy nights. There are nights when I’m tired or overwhelmed. There are times when nobody thinks about the tree at all.
And we certainly don’t add a leaf every single time someone does something good. We just come back to it when we can.
I actually think that’s one reason it has lasted. It doesn’t feel like another parenting task that I have to remember to do every day. The tree just stays there on the wall and keeps growing with us.
The Little Jar Underneath the Tree
You might notice a little jar hanging underneath our tree in the photos. That’s another family tradition we’ve added.
Every time we do something together as a family, we put a little pom-pom into the jar.
It doesn’t need to be a big outing. The idea is simply to keep track of those times when we intentionally do something together.
Then we watch the jar fill up.
When it’s full, we choose something fun to celebrate together. Sometimes that might mean going to the cinema or a play café. Other times we might decide to have a pizza party.
I like that the reward itself is something we do together. The Tree of Good Deeds is growing with the little things the children do, while the jar is filling with things we do as a family.
More Than Just a Kids’ Behaviour Activity
For me, this is probably the most important part.
One of my priorities as a mother is creating positive and meaningful childhood memories for my children.
Of course I want to teach them responsibility, kindness and perseverance. But I also think about the little things from childhood that stay with us when we’re adults.
I can imagine my children years from now remembering that funny colourful tree we had on the wall.
They might remember cutting out the leaves together.
Maybe they’ll remember helping Lara choose the right colour when she was tiny.
They might remember watching the family jar get fuller and fuller and getting excited because they knew a pizza party or trip to the cinema was coming.
That’s what I want from traditions like this.
I don’t need the tree to make my children perfectly behaved, and I don’t need to use it perfectly myself.
I just want it to be one of those little things from our home that encourages something good while they’re growing up.
And hopefully, one day, they’ll remember our Tree of Good Deeds as one of the little pieces of their childhood. ❤️