You sit down beside your toddler with a stack of cups. They hand you the biggest one, then spend a minute figuring out how to fit the others inside. You’re right there with them, and they’re deciding what to try next. That’s independent play.
If your toddler usually wants you to join in, start with something familiar. Play together for a moment, then pause and see what they do while you stay close. A minute or two of exploring a toy on their own is a good start.
These 10 practical tips will help you make room for more of those moments, from choosing a few toys to put out to knowing when to step back and let your toddler take the lead.
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Why Independent Play Matters for Toddlers
When a tower falls, your toddler might try putting a bigger block at the bottom. When they tuck a teddy under a blanket, they’re using something familiar to make up their own little story. These everyday moments give toddlers room to make choices, try out ideas, and see what happens.
The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights how play gives young children opportunities to use their imagination and practise solving problems. You can make room for that exploration by setting out a few simple toys, staying nearby, and giving your toddler time to see what they can do with them. The Power of Play, American Academy of Pediatrics
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10 Expert-Backed Ways to Encourage Independent Play:
1. Start Small and Build Up Gradually:
Start with a minute or two of child-led play while you sit nearby. If your toddler is happily stacking cups or turning the pages of a book, let them keep going. If they reach for you, join them for a moment and try another short stretch of independent play later.
As your toddler gets more comfortable, give them a little more time to explore at their own pace. When they look up to share what they’ve done, you could say, “You tried a different cup, and it fit!” That shows them you noticed what they worked out.
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2. Set Up a Safe Play Spot Near You:
Pick a spot where your toddler can play while you stay nearby and keep them in view. A rug beside the sofa works well. Put out two or three things they can reach and use on their own, like large toddler-safe blocks, stacking cups, or a few board books. Then give them a moment to choose what to do.
If your toddler puts the stacking cups in a row or uses one to give their teddy a drink, let them carry on. They’ve found their own way to play with what you set out.
Keep small objects and toys with loose parts out of reach. Save water play for a time when you can give your toddler your full attention and stay within arm’s reach. ACCC toy safety guide · Royal Life Saving water safety guidance
Read more:
20 best books for 1 year old baby
Best books for 2 years old age
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3. Stay Close and Let Your Toddler Lead:
Sit where your toddler can see you and you can keep an eye on them. If they start lining up their toy animals, give them time to decide what happens next. You might think they’re making a parade, while they’re busy finding each animal a place to sleep.
If they look up to show you something, respond. A smile or a simple “I see where you put the cow” lets them share the moment and carry on. If they ask for help, lend a hand with the part they’re stuck on, then give them a chance to take over again.
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4. Give Your Toddler a Simple Play Prompt
If your toddler seems unsure what to do, give them one small idea to get started. Put a teddy beside a few large blocks and ask, “Where could Teddy sit?” Or roll a toy car across the rug and say, “I wonder where it’s going.”
Then pause and see what they do. They might build Teddy a chair, tuck him under a blanket, or decide the blocks are his dinner. One little invitation can be enough to get them started, and where the play goes next is up to them.
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5. Make Independent Play Part of Your Routine:
Pick a moment that already happens most days, like after breakfast or when you come home from a walk. Set out a couple of familiar toys and let your toddler choose one while you stay nearby. After breakfast, for example, you could put a basket of board books and a few toy animals on the rug while you finish your tea.
Keep the timing flexible. If your toddler is tired or hungry, try again later. When you find a moment that works for both of you, come back to it the next day.
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6. Make the Switch From Screens to Play Easier
If your toddler is watching a show, tell them what’s coming next. You could say, “When this episode finishes, we’ll turn off the TV. Would you like your blocks or your toy cars?” Put their choice on the rug so it’s ready when the screen goes off.
If they’re upset that the show ended, give them a moment and stay close. You could roll one car down a cushion ramp together, then pause and see if they want to send the next one down themselves.
Read more about limiting screen time for kids
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7. Let Your Toddler See You Enjoy Your Own Activity
Try doing something of your own while your toddler plays beside you. You could fold laundry while they make a bed for Teddy, or read a few pages of your book while they look through a board book. You can say, “I’m going to read my book. You can look at yours or choose something else to play with.”
If they bring their book over to show you a picture, take a look together. Then return to your page and give them a chance to decide what they’d like to do next.
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8. Choose Toys Your Toddler Can Use in More Than One Way
Look at what your toddler already enjoys doing. If they like putting things inside other things, try offering a few large blocks and an empty basket. They might fill it, tip it out, or carry the blocks across the rug and build something there.
Familiar toys can take on new roles, too. A stacking cup might become a bowl for Teddy’s dinner or a garage for a chunky toy car. Before buying anything new, try putting two familiar toys together and see what your toddler comes up with.
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9. Give Your Toddler a Moment to Find Something to Do
When your toddler finishes playing with one toy, give them a moment to look around before offering another. They might wander over to the bookshelf, go back to the same toy, or pick up something they walked past a minute ago.
If they seem stuck, offer two simple choices. “Would you like to look at a book or build with your blocks?” Then give them time to choose. If what they’re looking for is a cuddle or a little time with you, you can reconnect and try again later.
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10. Notice the Small Signs of Progress
Some days your toddler might spend several minutes making a home for their toy animals. The next day they might want you beside them for every step. Give them the help they need that day and look for little moments when they take the lead again.
Progress might look like choosing a toy on their own, coming up with a new way to use it, or returning to their game after asking you for help. When you notice one of those moments, give them room to follow their idea and see where it goes.
Common Independent Play Challenges and What to Try
“My toddler cries when I get up.”
Start with your toddler playing beside you while you stay seated. If they hand you a toy, play together for a moment. Then pause and see whether they pick up where they left off while you’re still right there.
“They move on after two minutes.”
Two minutes of play counts. If they leave the blocks and choose a book, let them follow that interest. They’re still deciding what to do for themselves, even when they switch activities.
“They keep knocking things down.”
If they’re knocking over a tower of soft blocks, that might be the part of the game they enjoy most. Let them rebuild it and try again. If they start throwing hard toys, move those aside and offer something soft they can safely toss into a basket.
Three Easy Independent Play Setups to Try Today
Stacking cups on a tray. Set out a few cups of different sizes. Your toddler might nest them, stack them upside down, or turn the tray into a table for a pretend tea party.
A bed for Teddy. Put a favourite soft toy beside a small blanket on the rug. See whether your toddler tucks Teddy in, wakes him up, or decides the blanket should be a cape.
A basket of familiar books. Put two or three board books within reach. If your toddler likes animal pictures, leave one book open to a favourite page. They might turn the pages, point to the animals, or make up their own story from the pictures.
Try one setup while you sit nearby. If your toddler finds a way to play that you hadn’t thought of, give them time to see where it goes.
A Small Way to Start Today
The next time your toddler is settled and ready to play, put a favourite toy within reach and sit beside them. If they invite you in, join for a moment. Then pause and see what they choose to do next. If they’re still enjoying themselves, let the game run a little longer.
Does your toddler have a toy they keep coming back to when they play on their own? I’d love to hear what it is and what they do with it.